Always that awful sound in your head
Composer, producer and musician Stephen Emmer (66) thought he would have to say goodbye to his music career when his hearing problems became increasingly serious. Yet he managed to reinvent himself by taking a completely different path: that of quiet, classical music.
A doctor advised him to become friends with the tone in his head, but Stephen Emmer prefers to call it an intruder. "Although after about ten years I regard it as an acquaintance, on the level of that annoying uncle at a birthday party. If you're lucky, you only see that uncle once a year. I have it 24 hours a day."
In his yearning for silence, he briefly considered becoming a forest ranger, he says with a laugh. Only to immediately add that there was little to laugh about at the time. "It says a lot about how desperate I was. Fortunately, my psychologist managed to change my mind. He said: 'By the way you talk about music, I can tell that it is not just your job, but also your passion. Try to find a way not to let that go.'"
Concentration
Emmer became known in the Netherlands primarily as the creator of famous TV theme tunes, such as the theme for the NOS Journaal and RTL Late Night. He also produced for countless artists and made his own albums in musical styles such as pop, rock, and electronic. That is no longer possible, due to what he himself calls 'the three-stage rocket': tinnitus, unilateral hearing loss, and dizziness. "Music that is loud, busy, fast, or bombastic exacerbates my symptoms to such an extent that I can no longer concentrate. Let alone work with screaming guitars, drums, and house beats."
Focus
After his psychologist's remark, he arranged pieces by others for a while; that was less intensive. "After a while, I regained my focus and naturally slid back into composing myself," says Emmer. "Out of necessity, I discovered a new side of myself: that of quiet, slow classical music – a musical richness I paid no attention to before. Yet I dare say now that this actually suits me much better." During recordings at the famous Abbey Road Studios in London, Emmer felt that Mt. Mundane – consisting of 15 cinematic compositions for piano, orchestra, and choir – was the album he had always wanted to make. It will be released on October 11. “I used melodies, among others, that I composed on my little plastic organ when I was 20. At the time, I heard a whole orchestra accompanying them in my head. More than forty years later, that orchestra is really there! It is a tour de force that I have been able to create despite, and perhaps even because of, my limitations.”
"I can only go to a restaurant if the acoustics are good."
He hopes that his works will be performed in concert halls at home and abroad, although he will not be able to attend them himself. "Maybe at some of them," he says optimistically, although it is visible in his eyes that it is indeed painful. "I was always as free as a bird, loved going spontaneously to Paris, to a late-night movie, to a performance, or out for dinner. Now I can only go to a restaurant if the acoustics are good and I sit far enough away from the speakers and the cutlery drawer. I only listen to music at home now, without background noise or distractions."
Highs and lows
“It is difficult when your whole life comes to a standstill. I know people with tinnitus who have taken their own lives, but I have learned to accept my limitations. The title of my album, Mt Mundane, refers to the personal mountain I have climbed. Everyone experiences highs and lows in their life; the question is how you deal with them. I believe I succeed, precisely because I have stayed true to myself and my passion.”
[De Telegraaf - Marion van Es]
Listen to Mt Mundane on your favourite music platform here
Buy the Mt Mundane album on CD here