Seven Minute Man

Not because he, as a lover, has a preference for quick work, but because, on average, a piece of music composed by him can be heard on Dutch radio and television every seven minutes. Stephen Emmer (1958), for example, composed the theme tunes for both the NOS Journaal and RTL Nieuws. He also created the music for programs such as RTL Boulevard, Editie NL, Goedemorgen Nederland, and Per seconde wijzer.

He used to jump up with pride whenever he heard a piece of his own music. "When I had just finished making the theme tune for the Journaal, I even drove to Southeast Amsterdam once. There, at eight o'clock in the evening, I saw the blue light of the television in all those apartment buildings. I felt like quite the big shot at the thought that all those people were hearing my music at that moment. That vanity has worn off, though. When I watch TV, I sometimes deliberately switch on a foreign channel so I don't have to hear my own music."

The first theme tune he created was in 1984 for a program by the Humanist Association. Emmer (the son of former news anchor Fred Emmer) was a pop musician, but soon became, the first in the Netherlands, a full-time composer of tunes and jingles. Musicians like to elaborate; Emmer does not.

"When I started this work, my uncle Robert Heppener, the composer, said: 'Sensible choice, because your music always starts well.' My commissioned compositions average no longer than ten seconds. Only very occasionally do I find that frustrating. I even once lovingly created a Christmas tune for RTL that was not allowed to last longer than two seconds."

People underestimate the amount of work involved in composing theme tunes, says Emmer. "They don't know that for news programs, for example, you usually create a whole package of tunes." The viewer thinks it is exactly the same tune every time, but in the morning you hear a different version than in the evening. For the extra broadcasts of the News during very important events, I have also recorded different versions of the music. If something very bad has happened, the music sounds more subdued than usual. There is even a special version ready in case the Queen were to pass away.''

Does such a thing as a Stephen Emmer-sound exist? ''No. Someone like Hans van Eyck, the former keyboardist of the group Tee-Set who wrote theme tunes for programs like Goede Tijden Slechte Tijden and Koffietijd, really has a very recognizable sound. I wouldn't want that. Uniformity can become off-putting. At the same time, I am careful not to become what they call in England a jack of all trades, master of none. "I make a lot of music by myself on the computer, but I have also worked with the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra."

According to Emmer, what binds his tunes and jingles together is that they are easy on the ear, yet often have a twist. "The music I like to listen to usually has that too. Van Dyke Parks or The Flaming Lips, for example; at first listen, it is all easy to digest, but the connoisseur also hears an underlying layer of experimentation in such pop music."

Does anyone hear that underlying layer in Emmer's tunes and jingles? "Everyone hears that typewriter in the theme tune of RTL Boulevard; other things are much more subtle, they penetrate at most on a subliminal level. A very small group of freaks really listens to what I make. I only have to change something and I immediately get an email from that corner: where did that tambourine go?"

[Het Parool - Peter van Brummelen - 6 November 2009]